Lucky 13

Monday is our 13th wedding anniversary. We are now in the adolescents of our marriage. How strange to look back at the six wedding photos we have. Yes, we have very few pictures, all of them taken after the ceremony. Our friend, Mike who was our witness 'forgot' to change film, so he kept snapping away but nothing was recording. This is something I learned to let go, I just let it go. Unless he is visiting us, than I'm all "Hey Mike? Remember when you were in charge of documenting my wedding and you fucked up the pictures?" He loves it when I do this.




Ahh, we were so young looking. We started off the evening so upright and lovey dovey.

By the end of the night....not so much.

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Tonsils

Mine

Hers, very blurry

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MONO

I took Miss to the doctor again today- her doctor, not the urgent care doctor. Or should I say the I Don't Care doctor, the one that didn't give the correct dosage for her antibiotic. The one that I called the next day to see if the dosage was right because Baby was taking just 1ml less than her at half her weight. Today we went to her real doctor and guess what? Yep, she was taking only half the dose she should have been taking. So it was just enough to prevent her from getting a full blown sinus infection, but not putting a dent in the tonsillitis. She showed me the tonsils with her ultra powered light and yikes! What a red, swollen mess they were. Poor girl. That is why she isn't eating, just nursing ice pops- she can't swallow anything!
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Before we went I dropped off some reading assignments at school and the teacher had put together some work for her to do while she gets better. The teacher wrote her a sweet note and sent home Black Beauty for her to read, which she is so excited about. We are almost done with the first book in the Little House series, so next we can move on to that. Also, and don't ask me how they could have made these so fast but, her classmates all made her get well cards.

She smiled for the first time since Saturday. I called the office at 8:10 this morning to ask if the teacher would gather her work for me to pick up later and to let them know Miss would be out for a while. I arrived at her school at 10:15 and these were waiting along with her work. She is very grateful for her friends for doing this and enjoyed reading through them on the way to the doctor. I'm hoping she will start feeling better now quickly since her dosage is adjusted properly. Keep your fingers crossed!

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PS- this is the same teacher I was warned about last summer. The one that no one wanted their child in. She is always doing little extra things like sending Miss notes in the mail to thank her for helping. Or buying the kids ice cream. When my grandmother was dying she offered to keep Miss later in the day if it would help me out. Basically offering to babysit for me. The real test she passed is that Miss loves her. She has nothing bad to say about her and she is excelling at school. I'm so happy the gossip was wrong.

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The Apprentice

I am thinking of having all of us wear one of these masks 24/7. Three weeks ago Middle had a sinus/bronchial infection. Last week the baby had an ear infection. This weekend Miss has tonsillitis.

Middle working at Eric's art table

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Question

Let's say you need to take your daughter to preschool, and your youngest daughter's carseat is in your husbands truck because he forgot to switch it back. What would you do?
A: Stay home.
B: Put her in your oldest daughter's booster seat and drive real slow.

What do you think I did?
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Yes that is her cellphone and Boots from Dora next to her. The hardest part of this was trying to get her back into her carseat the next day. She wanted to stay riding in the booster. Not gonna happen for another 12 pounds, kiddo.

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I Need A Bigger WIndowsill

Anything starting off as a seed or brought home as a little sprout ends up on the windowsill over my kitchen sink. It is at this point every year I realize I need a bigger windowsill over my kitchen sink. Last week we started a crystal project (the blue fuzzy tree) and it ended up there so no one could touch it and wreck it. We also made rock candy and the kids really wanted it up there on the window ledge but the jar was too big. Suncatchers are always showcased in this window too. Some days I have to get on my tippy toes to see my deck through the clutter.
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Other news: I have not yet lost a lung due to my chronic coughing. I feel like this should happen any time now. I will take a picture of it before Eric takes me to the doctor so he can re-insert it, because I know you all would appreciate a picture of a hacked up lung.
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Because She Says It Better

If you have five minutes, go over to Notes From The Trenches and read her post on parenting styles, and how we all do it differently. And that's OK! Really- it's OK.

http://www.notesfromthetrenches.com/2009/05/21/i-shall-speak-of-it-no-more/#comments

When she says moms feel the need to rationalize their parenting choices to other moms- I'm guilty of that. Why? What do I care if someone doesn't 'get' my reasoning, and why should they care? I was told once by a perfect stranger that I needed to put sunscreen on the baby. Her cheeks were red because it was hot out and Middle and Baby both get really red faces when they are hot. I pleasantly told him she did have sunscreen on. He wouldn't let it go though, he told me maybe she needed more. I just smiled and turned away. Normally I would have given an earful, but I guess I was too hot myself for arguing with a know it all. I sometimes get looks when I 'let' my girls get dirty. (Like I could prevent that from happening!) I have actually been at a park and have heard moms tell their kids to get out of the sandbox because they will get dirty! Why did she bring them to the park? Wearing their new shoes? My kids go to church and to school clean and when they are any where in between they can let go and be kids. With the exception of knowingly ruining their shoes. (See? My wacky reasoning of having a set of 'play' shoes and 'nice' shoes would sound crazy to some.)

Anyway, she states her point well in this post, and I agree about her bit about the sunscreen part. Like hers, my kids get TAN in the summer too. Not burned, but tanned. It happens to those of us that allow our kids to play outside.

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I'm Going To Feel Like a 'DICK'

So, I just overheard my middle child whisper a bad word to her friend that she has over today. I asked her, where did you hear that word? She told me her older sister's friend said it in front of her a little while back. I know when it had to have been, and I'm very upset. Why can't kids just be kids? Why do they learn these words at eight years old? What parent would say them in front of their child? They hear everything, and know what is taboo. They enjoy sharing those things with others to spread that feeling and now I get to tell this little girls mom tonight what her daughter learned while playing at my house. Nice. I have slipped before, but they aren't crude words. Mostly damn, or crap which is plenty bad enough. I know they can't be sheltered forever, but c'mon! My five year old does NOT need that language.

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Toad Overload

Before and After

Last year when the power company came through to trim the trees back, they did some serious damage to my bird bath. I didn't realize it right away though, and over the winter it broke away even more. It took me one solid hour to just clean out this small spot.





I can't bear to throw it away yet, Eric got it for me while we still lived in Arkansas while I was pregnant with Miss. It made it in the UHaul to New York fine but couldn't stand up to tree branches knocking it down. It weighs a tremendous amount, even now in its shrunken state.

Eric needs to get a new flood light for the exposed electrical box and what are the chances of that happening this season? Slim to none. Those are the type of things that never make it onto shopping lists and get put on the back burner to other things like, oh I don't know, FOOD.

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The Answers: Nothing, Lots, Not Many Of You, Doing It With A Friend and Very

The Questions:

What is better than having your wintered-in-Florida neighbors back next door?

How much fun do your kids have when their kids come up to play?

How many of you have a neighbor that would come up to your tree strewn yard and help you pile up branches upon branches, logs and bits of trees into humongous piles for two hours without you asking for the help?

How can said work even be enjoyable?

How sad am I sitting here and realizing how long next winter will be again while they're gone?

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Ribbit

Rush Here, Rush There

My parents were around this weekend and had all the kids this morning so that Eric and I could run errands. They were going to bring them home after dinner so that we could work around the house undisturbed and accomplish a mountain of tasks. Ha, ha!! I should have known that wasn't going to happen. When we got back home from the store, we had two messages that the baby was complaining about her ear and she had a fever. I called the pediatrician and we got a 3:00 appointment. Yup. She has an ear infection, but she is still delightful. A happy sick child is nothing to gripe about. My afternoon of chores grew, instead of shrunk but I was able to make my Purse Party this evening. And mommy getting her red wine while talking to adults is very important.

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TODAY...

...was good.

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Eight Years In the Adirondacks

Yes, I see you. You casually look over my way, and although we know each other, you ignore me. You give me the don't-come-over-here vibes. I've felt them before so I recognize their sting. You turn your body slightly, so you aren't exactly giving me your back, but you are most assuredly not facing me. You suddenly get absorbed in the conversation that was just a moment ago losing your attention. I see you. I am amused. Part of me wants to walk right over and give you a big hug just so I can see your mortification. Part of me wants to laugh out loud, loud enough for people to look my way, and when they do, I will point at you and laugh louder. But, I do none of those things. Instead I do an internal eyeroll, shift my own body and ignore the vibes. I know, from history, that the next time we bump into each other and you are alone I will become an interest to you. Oh it's so good to see me, how am I, how are the girls, what's new. I will stand there and glaze over and plaster my smile on and answer your questions and ask a few of my own. We will ignore the previous run-in by some silent agreement because that is what is expected.
I am not reliving a high school memory. Actually, I have never experienced any event like this until adulthood. Until motherhood. Until moving here, where I now live in upstate New York. I cannot explain this phenomena and I have given up trying to dissect it for understanding. When this first happened I was embarrassed and hurt. Trying to think back to what I might have done/said/not done/not said that was inappropriate but coming up short of an answer.
On the flip side of this, I have made some really nice friends while living here. My girls have made some nice friends too, and I try to nurture those friendships. I try to explain to the kids why people act the way they do, but it isn't easy. Mostly because I'm not entirely sure myself. I wonder why no one has ever just asked all the questions they ever wanted to know -tactfully- instead of dancing around them. Instead they ask everyone else instead of the one source with the accurate answer.
I like to people watch but don't do much of it now. (Probably because I'm busy watching my own little people!) I like to watch all kinds of people: kids pushing their parents buttons and then watch the parents reactions. Teenagers at the mall gathered in groups trying to be independent but never leaving the security of their circle. Business people rushing out to get lunch, dressed for serious matters, worrying about work while people around them are virtually invisible. Old people-especially couples- walking together, slowly, serene looks on their face wearing comfortable shoes.
I wonder what people see when they watch me? I bet is nothing close to what is inside. I could tell them about the events in my life to make up the me I am now. About the time I was at my uncles pool and jumped backwards off the diving board earning me seven stitches. I could show them the scar on my chin from it. I could tell them about the dog my grandparents had that I loved so much. He would never tire of chasing a stick. I tried to see how long he could go, and I gave up before he did. I could tell them about the summer after my grandfather died, which I spent living with my grandmother. It was the summer before my senior year and I spent my days lounging on the beach and I worked at night as a hostess in a restaurant. I became friends with a waitress there and she would bring me to see her boyfriends band play his gigs. I looked older then seventeen, but not twenty one. The guitarist and I ended up hanging out together all summer so I became the girl that said "I'm with the band" and was welcomed in. I would sit on a bar stool and watch him play his solos. His build and coloring were so much like Eric's, so while I watched him play, I imagined he was him. I don't know what I reminded him of, but it didn't matter. We both filled whatever part the other needed filled, and when summer ended it was easy to say goodbye. I could tell them about the brother of my co-worker that was a wheelchair bound alcoholic man with Cerebral Palsy that had a crush on me and how hard it was to be around him and his self deprecating humor. I could tell them how detached and oddly numb I felt when I was told I had a life threatening tumor entwined in my ovaries. Like it was not real, not happening to me, I was just a visitor in my own body. I could tell them about getting married and birthing babies and basically about every detail of my existence until they understood me. Till they knew the reason for my slight limp, the cause of every scar and the purpose of my beliefs. But that would take so much time, and so many conversations and too much patience. It is much easier to make assumptions based on outward appearances, rumor, and popular opinion. They will never know because they will never ask. I will never know them because that would rock the boat we all ride. Let's just turn slightly away from each other, and keep at arms length. You can think me a bit 'too much' for my loud voice and hand gestures, the way I strike up conversations with others I'm in line with, the way I ask my questions in the hope of a true answer. I can think you a sheep, going along with your lifelong friends instead of branching out. I can go on not understanding your quirks and we will meet again soon. Maybe we will make eye contact, but I won't hold my breath.

So, Call Me Pushy

It is not yet noon today and I have already pushed a broom, pushed a vacuum, pushed the lawn mower and pushed my daughter's buttons. I think I will call it a day- wait- six hours until Tball, then it will be a day.
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Is there anything more insight provoking then mowing your lawn while listening to your MP3 player? I have the deepest thoughts and some long conversations with myself during the yard work times. Today was great because the two youngest played for an hour with a toad I found while I mowed. When they got bored with that I brought out the big guns, that's right- the cheesesticks and pretzel rods maneuver- and it held them over until I was done. I think I only got 57 black fly bites, so I call it a success.
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'Astro Pimp'

This has been stuck on the frig with by a duck magnet for a few weeks now. If it's not the kids artwork, it's their father's. He just 'doodled' it on a piece of construction paper when he got his new airbrush last month, trying to get a feel for the new tool. I'm telling you, I really have to look around the house before the kids have friends over. What we think is some tattoo-like artwork hanging around the house, other kids might think is scary!

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Happy Mother's Day To Me

You have no idea how many photo albums I pulled apart trying to find this picture for my grandmothers funeral. We had poster boards filled with photos of her and her family through the years, and I wanted this one included because it is one of my favorites of her. It may be my most favorite, I don't know. Of course, today I found it while looking through my fifteen years worth of pictures but it was not in an album. It was loose in a old photo envelope on the side of the albums! I'm just happy to have it again, although I guess it was always with me anyway. A nice mother's day gift for me.

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Here I Am

I didn't fall off the face of the Earth, I've just been roaming it. Really just the 30 miles of Earth that surrounds my home. Back with more stories soon, just taking a break.



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She Must Be Spending Too Much Time With My Mom

I am on a seemingly never-ending quest to have the girls put their things back when they are finished using it. They have learned the hard way what happens if you leave your precious something anywhere but your closed up bedroom: Baby finds it and has her way. Now they will just open their door, toss the whatever in, close the door and tell me "I'm gonna put that away later". Well, they 'forget' and when we walk in there for bed I'm told "I'm gonna put that away in the morning!". I state the menacing I WILL THROW AWAY WHAT ISN'T PUT AWAY threat. Endless cycle. Middle doesn't give me a hard time because she truly enjoys picking up and cleaning. She will come into whichever room I'm in and scan it with her eyes while asking, "Everything OK in here?" If she sees one of the foam chairs upturned, she rushes to fix it.
Yesterday, after she picked up her stuff in her room, I had to remind her that Miss needs to pick up after herself. I said, 'Don't pick up after her- she needs to do it.' The thought of scattered toys and do-dads lying around her room with the dark threat of it being tossed in with last nights leftover spaghetti must have had her in a bind. She came to me and said, "Mom, I just feel it in my heart to clean up. I just feel so much like I need to."


That gene must skip a generation.
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Notes From the House of Tired

Gas in the tank: $20.00
Sick Office visit: $30.00
Mucinex: $11.99
Benadryl: $ 4.99
Antibiotic: $ 4.00
2 Balloons on
a stick: $ 5.98

clearing up a sinus/bronchial infection your five year old has, and not listen to her cough at night for FIVE hours straight thus allowing her to get some sleep:

PRICELESS!!


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Slugger

Yesterday was a great day for Middle: her debut at Tball. She marched in the Little League parade, got her team photo taken and played an inning. She was so proud of herself. Especially during the parade when she spied her sisters, grandparents, her aunt and uncle and our cousin- who is more like her aunt. After we passed them her smile would not fade and she had an extra bounce to her step.






All the kids got to hit and run the bases and it was equal parts comedy and cute. Most had never played before so after hitting the ball, they would stand in awe at how far it went while all the coaches were telling them to run.



She is the opposite of her older sister in regards to sports. While Miss liked the idea of batting and running, she shied away from actually having to touch the ball. Middle, on the other hand, volunteered for any position that was called out. Her actual first game is Tuesday night and my life for the next two months is over. Goodbye.

Oh Well

I took so many pictures at the opening day of Tball (today) and promptly left my camera on my parents kitchen table. Oh well. I will post them tomorrow after Miss's FIVE hour birthday party she is going to. For right now, I'm working on killing the book list I posted a bit ago. In between those books, I will still read my bookclub selections and whatever other random books catch my eye. I just finished The Associate by John Grisham and it was typical Grisham. I liked it, nothing fab. I am reading The Memory Keepers Daughter for book club and Wuthering Heights for the list. In case you think I just read all the live long day, I don't. I read while Middle is in school when I'm not playing with Baby and at night when all the kids are in bed. I should probably clean the house at that time, but as far as I'm concerned when they are down for the night, I'm off the clock.

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Same Title, Different Artist

Took my fam'ly away from my Carolina home
Had dreams about the West and started to roam
Six long months on a dust covered trail
They say heaven's at the end but so far it's been hell
And there's fire on the mountain, lightnin' in the air
Gold in them hills and it's waitin' for me there
We were diggin' and siftin' from five to five
Sellin' everything we found just to stay alive
Gold flowed free like the whiskey in the bars
Sinnin' was the big thing, lord and Satan was his star
And there's fire on the mountain, lightnin' in the air
Gold in them hills and it's waitin' for me there
Dance hall girls were the evenin' treat
Empty cartridges and blood lined the gutters of the street
Men were shot down for the sake of fun
Or just to hear the noise of their forty-four guns
And there's fire on the mountain, lightnin' in the air
Gold in them hills and it's waitin' for me there
Now my widow she weeps by my grave
Tears flow free for her man she couldn't save
Shot down in cold blood by a gun that carried fame
All for a useless and no good worthless claim

This is one of Eric's favorite songs. I think because it has to do with the fact he grew up in North Carolina plus besides that, he really likes the Marshall Tucker Band. He even named his cat Tucker. Although, sometimes he slipped and called it _ucker!

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