Sure Sign

There is no denying it now. The feet were sized. The shoes were tried on. The sparkle came into their eyes. The purchase was made. The new shoe smell permeated the car. Yup, you know school is about to start when you make the inevitable trip to the shoe store.

Now if they would only stay this clean.

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FAILURE

I really don't want to go into the gory details, but this yard sale of mine was a COMPLETE failure. I will never be spontaneous again. That's all I'm going to say. Failure. Complete.

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Got DIrt?

Update

I am having my yard sale tomorrow- I know, so spontaneous of me! I hope to get rid of a bunch of crap, not so interested in making a significant amount of money. I will be gone alllll the live long day, so I will let you know either late tomorrow, or Sat. what happened. And I will have pictures. Pictures of a bunch of plastic musical baby toys that I no longer need. Yay Me!


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Random Rebecca

• I am thinking of having a last minute tag sale, either tomorrow or Saturday. Usually I plan them weeks if not months ahead, so this is really bizarre for me.
• Miss and I asked the baby, one at a time, "Do you love Mommy?" Her answer: "NO!" "Do you love Middle?" "No!", we went through the whole family, even the dog, with her always answering no. Then we asked, "Do you love Daddy?" to which she quietly said "yeahhh." HUMPF!
• It has been getting down into the forties at night. I am starting to shut windows before I go to bed and it depresses me. I never enjoy autumn, although it is beautiful, because I'm always too busy thinking how awful my life is about to become when winter arrives.
• In six days school starts and I'm not looking forward to that either. I guess it will be good to get back into a firmer schedule, but I like our lazy summer life. A lot.
• I have a secret. I will not share it for a bit yet, because even though I know there are no such thing as superstitions, I'm going to wait until it is set in stone to reveal.

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Sigh

August....

...please don't leave.

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Milestone

So, it is a big day around here. Miss is doing a 'first' tonight. Much to Middles dismay. See the above picture with Middle looking up to Miss and in the background? Well, that pretty much sums up her afternoon. Miss is at her first sleepover. (Not counting staying with my parents.) Middle wanted to go. She asked how long Miss would be gone. I told her she could go on a sleepover when she turned seven, and we would see Miss tomorrow.



**By the way, it has been WONDERFUL just with these two little ones this afternoon! This is what it used to be like before Baby was born, I forgot!

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Lake George

I took the kids to walk around Lake George a few nights ago. It was a beautiful evening and the kids had a lot of fun. We ate at a restaurant that was up a few flights of stairs that overlooked the lake. Normally I would never have chosen the place, but I knew the view was fabulous from being there before. It was worth hauling the stroller and the baby in my arms to eat there. There was a groundhog walking around on the hill right behind us and boy did the kids love him! The last time I ate there was on a date. It was during a brief period time when Mr and I weren't dating. Anyway, the guy took me to Lake George and we walked around and ate at this place. We had cheese fries. (Why do I remember this type of nonsense but can't remember I have food cooking in the oven and burn it?) When we finished eating we walked along the boardwalk and ended up a little jungle gym where the girls made instant friends and were upset with me when it was time to go. The meter was almost expired and they had played for a good 45 minutes, but there is never enough time.

I asked Mr that day if he wanted to go with us, and of course he said no. The last time I was there was last year when Novella was visiting. It made me miss her, although I was enjoying myself. It made me think of how things were better one year ago for her. She is having a bad year and I can't do much to help because of the distance between us. Why couldn't we be like the set of friends playing with their kids on the beach? Or why couldn't we be those two women sitting at an outdoor pub having a deep conversation? Even better, I wish it were her and I walking and window shopping while eating an ice cream. Every where I walked that night, I either saw families enjoying themselves together, or sister type women laughing with each other. I felt lonely even though I was with the girls. My husband never wants to do these type of things, and my best friend always wants to but lives too far away.

I will end in saying it was an absolutely fun time, but bittersweet.

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I Ain't Got The Baby Bug

We went to my cousins' baby shower tonight. She is having her first baby, a boy, in early October and let me just say: I'm done. I didn't know how I would feel seeing all of those cute onesies and the baby apparatus, her pregnant belly and all the labor room stories. But, I sat and watched her open all those gifts full of clothes that seem unbelievably too small to fit anything and I felt relief. Two years ago I was in my third pregnancy and my brain was full of infant thoughts. On the car ride back home tonight I keep thinking, "Ahhh, I'm done. Never again with the uncomfortable sleepless pregnant belly. Never again with heartburn so bad I thought my esophagus lining would erode. Never again being unable to tie my own shoes. Never again peeing fiftygabillion times a night." Total relief. No twinges or yearnings for the experience again. There is nothing like your newborn lying asleep on your shoulder, I know that, but the ends don't justify the means any more for me. My family is complete, and this time next year my cousin will be chasing her almost one year old around, and my 'baby' will be sleeping in a big girl bed and potty trained. I am definitely ready for the baby stage to end and our new stage to begin.

***********I took this picture of the girls with my grandmother before we left, and never used my camera again. I took pictures for my uncle with his camera all evening.********

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Guess It Might Be True

I heard about a study (there is ALWAYS a study) about people that have bumper stickers on their vehicles tend to have more aggression and road rage. If the guy that owns this truck believes what his stickers say, I'm going to steer clear of him while on the road.

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Frontier Sucks

And I am stuck with them. Their service is so unpredictable and I am nothing if not predictable. I wake up, check my email and whatever nonsense I can before the morning mayhem begins. I go live my life and at night I check my email, surf a bit and go to bed. Wake up, repeat. Frontier on the other hand, they go out drinking every night, tie one on, come to work, fall asleep on the power button, drool into the controls and then my internet doesn't work. My pretty, pretty internet gets all broken. Then I can't post a blog entry, I can't read the blogs I have gotten addicted to reading and then I get irate. I call and complain. Six to twelve hours later it gets fixed. Then a week passes and we just lather, rinse and repeat.


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She-man

Conversation in the car on the way home from the library tonight:

Middle: I will show you my penis! Where I pee!
Miss: Aaaa... no.... ha, ha...ummm, ha, ha...
Me: Middle! For the last time, you DO NOT have a penis! BOYS have a penis, girls have a vagina!
Middle: And daddy is a boy because he has a BEARD!


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In Between

I feel bad for Middle sometimes and today was one of those times. We went to the amusement park with my uncle and his three kids who are 9 and 7 year old twins. Middle is four and 42 inches tall, therefore not big enough for a lot of the rides she wishes she could go on, and too big for some of the rides Baby can go on. It's not all bad though, she did ride some whoppers today, and her demeanor is one that can't be crushed. No matter how upset you know she is on the inside because she can't ride the gigantic water ride, she can't be brought down. She and I went with Baby to the kiddie pool and she entertained herself happily. Her smile is never far and her laughter is hard for her to contain. She had loads of fun today, don't get me wrong. Next year though, she might get a bit more huffy. But this year she is easily distracted.


Here she is riding the swings with her baby sister and cousin behind her, and her older sister behind them.

Here she is entertaining herself in the water sprinklers even though it was a chilly start to the day.

And here she is, 20 minutes before we were leaving the park. Right after I took this picture she hopped down and was running on to see what else she could conquer. I always say, don't run in flip flops. They're flippy. And floppy. And two minutes after I took this picture, Middle went flippy and flopped onto the pavement loosing the top few layers of skin off her knees.

Sometimes it hurts to be in the middle. On the inside, and on the outside.

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Her Future Profession

Middle asked Miss to give her some A1 for her pork chop at dinner tonight. Miss unscrewed the cap, walked over to Middle's plate and carefully drizzled A1 where Middle had pointed. "See," she said, "aren't I a good A-oner?"

You Dirty Rat

Guess what washed up on the beach today? Yummy, dinner.

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Beach Bums

My uncle and four of his kids arrived on Friday, much to the delight of Miss and Middle. Yesterday we spent the entire day on the beach, with the exception of two trips to the house during rain showers. They only lasted about twenty minutes, just enough time for us to fill our bellies. A couple of years ago my grandmother bought a water trampoline and my uncle filled and launched it yesterday.






That ladder is not so easy to grip and climb. Believe me. Oh, the sight of a grown woman squirming and wriggling with her own weight trying to climb a dumb piece of air filled plastic! The comedy! The joy of the kids! HA, ha , fucking ha.
I was laughing right along with them. Too bad we didn't video tape it for America's Funniest Videos. I might have had a shot of winning.

The kids all worked together and made one of the prettiest sand castles our beach has seen. I love how the cousins don't see each other for months and when they are all together they get along and work together seamlessly.

Don't ask me why the water filled moat is so foamy. Every afternoon a bunch of foam appears on the waters edge, I don't know what it is or why it happens, but it does.

Today, a repeat. (I hope) Except for no rain showers today. Tomorrow, the girls have their yearly physical and school starts in a mere two weeks. How did that happen?!

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My Dog Is Famous

Except that Barbie named her cat Twyla. Same spelling. If this had been a dog, I might just have bought it.

Home Again

I arrived home yesterday to find my internet connection all messed up again. UGH! By now I know the problem, I'm on a first name basis with the service techs that come out, and still no solution in sight. Because we are on a rural route there is no priority for pole replacements. I can just look forward to sporadic service until when/if ever they decide to correctly solve the problem. Nice. They don't like it if my payments are sporadic though, imagine that.

Anyway, my sister took us to the Palisades mall while we were down. We went over the Tappan Zee bridge:




...and the kids loved it. Not too many bridges around here look like it. We have a game that when we go under a bridge or overpass we all duck down so our heads don't get chopped off. This bridge brought our game up a notch!
There was a merry go round AND a Ferris wheel in the mall. My sister and the two girls are on it somewhere in this picture. My nephew and the baby stayed with me on firm turf. We are the smart ones in the group.

It was a quick trip, but nice. I kept my promise of taking them down this summer, but got back home to do a few things before my uncle and cousins arrive this weekend for a few days. Hopefully it won't rain the enitre time they are here!

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Blasphemy!

He found it.
He laughed.
He made me watch it.
I laughed.
He said don't do it.
He said I will offend people.
He said it is blashemy.
I said I didn't make it.
I said no one will be offended.
He said yes, they will.
I said, I've got to share it.
He shook his head and left the room
You be the judge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA0DmsCBvmI


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Seven and a Half

Miss didn't have a party for her seventh birthday in February because she wanted to wait and have a beach birthday party. Today was the day, and were we ever blessed with the weather! I think every day but Tuesday rained this week but today was absolutely perfect. I was nervous the weather wouldn't cooperate. (Also, today is exactly her half birthday.) Here she is with her sisters:






Grandpa was grill master.

Can't you tell how yummy the cupcakes were?

So, we can check off this party from our summer to do list. I am leaving for a few days to visit my parents at their house in Westchester tomorrow. I told the kids we would go down before school started and this is the last possible week to do it. Middle has a preschool open house, my uncle and cousins will be here for five or six days and then it will be the week before school. I don't want to go any where the week before school. I think it best to stick close to home and bask in those last few days of freedom and togetherness. Then the next week we can bask in our schedules and separateness!

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These Cost Me $0.00

About a month ago a lady from church called to see if we wanted to come in to update our family photo for the church directory and I said yes. Good. I told Mr. about it and he agreed it was a grand idea. Flash forward to last weekend. Mr. asks what is going on this weekend so I reminded him about the appointment for the portraits and Miss's birthday party on Saturday. Flash forward to last night. Mr. says he needs to work one day this weekend and wanted me to remind him what was going on. I said pictures Friday, party Saturday. Gave him the times. He said O.K. Well, I thought that actually meant O.K. It didn't mean O.K. Guess who didn't show up for the church family portrait session? Mr., that is who. Guess who went any way? Me, that's who. Guess who felt like an asshole when she asked if just the kids portrait could go in the directory because she didn't want to look like a single mother? Guess what they said? They said no. NO? They gave me some bullshit that kids can't go into the publication without an adult due to some legal jargon in the paperwork. Well, I was not going to sit there and pose with the three of them without Eric so the kids got some pictures done -that will not make it into the directory- and I watched. When I sat down to talk with the salesman to go over different packages, I knew things were going to go even farther downhill. Speeding downhill. We all receive a free 8x10 for showing up and that is very generous. I understand the way they make any money on these type of gigs is when people buy packages or even just a sheet or two. The most basic package available? $250. Yes, that is right - $250 for an 8x10 and four 5x7's and a sheet of wallets. I'm sorry but I couldn't do it. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I don't have many parenting rules, because after having a couple of kids you realize the same rules can't apply to each child. Things you did with the first you would never do with the second, for example. But in saying that, my two rules are you never can have enough pictures or books. Those two things I refuse to feel guilty about spending money on. Tonight however, I just couldn't do it. Maybe if all five of us had been in the picture, or if I actually had $250 dollars floating around I would have, but not tonight. Not tonight Mr. Olan Mills man. Sorry, really. You were very patient with my 21 month old when she starting running around your equipment making you nervous. Yes you were. I saw you start to sweat. Don't worry, I was a bit nervous too. You were very punctual, which I appreciate to no end. You were very professional in your dress and setup, but no, I couldn't do $250 tonight. Thanks for the free 8x10 though! Can't wait to have it!

As we walked outside after our 30 minute Olan Mills special, the sun was starting to set and the rain had stopped so I went to the car and got my own camera out. The following is a snippet into our life. This is how we mice roll, people. I will narrate-


Me: OK, girls. Stand there- good. Oh, well maybe if you hold her hand she will stay with you.


Me: Just forget that idea, you two stand there and let me get a nice one of my two big girls. Very nice!

Me: Oh now maybe I can get the three of you. She seems a bit happier now...

Them: (their looks say everything, but)

Ha! I'm not going near that physcho, are you?

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Yeee-Aaawww!

**And no, this is not my tractor. I have a narrow push mower that has its handle duct taped together and it isn't even self propelled. Waa, waa, me!**

Free Movie

During the summer Regal Cinemas has a free program for families to view kids movies at 10 am on certain days. Not all of their locations participate, but there are a couple of theaters 'near' us. Last year we went to see March of the Penguins and today we saw Nancy Drew. The movies aren't new releases, but since we rarely go to the movies the chances are we have not seen what they are showing. Normally I would never go and pay for tickets when I have the baby tagging along, but everyone attending these movies has kids, and no one has paid for the show, so I don't feel too bad if she has the occasional outburst. Plus, no one shoots a dirty look your way if you drag your kid out during her outburst since they have all been in your shoes. It's a great way to spend a rainy summer day: first you view a free movie then browse the mall. We didn't browse today, but because it was suppose to rain I planned it. There will be no other available weeks for us to attend so I'm glad we got to go today.

Don't Read This

This is just me being mean. Me being ugly. Me being hateful and since this is my blog, what I consider a kind of memory book/therapy couch for my mind, I can write whatever I feel like. Don't read this and get mad at me. Don't read this and get mad on my behalf. Maybe you should just not read this.

• Why do people not RSVP? It obviously is wanted otherwise the party giver wouldn't have wrote it on the invitation.
• How fucking bold are you to say "We'll probably be there" when I totally know that means "If nothing better comes up we'll be there."
• Just because you can justify getting money/services from the government, don't try to get me hooked. Eric works hard, too hard, and we have too much pride for handouts. We might be struggling, but we are doing it. No, we don't have extra anything, no we can't 'keep up with the Jones' but we know everything we have we have earned.
• Just because I feel this way doesn't mean I would not seek help if it was warranted. Pride will not come in the way of my kids health/well being.
• If I email you a question, and I know you are at work and must have read it, ANSWER ME. Even if your answer is 'I don't know', answer me.
• The saying 'God doesn't give you what you can't handle' makes no sense to me. If that were true, why do people commit suicide? Why are children abused/neglected - they can handle that?
• Snobby people suck.
• Vets charge too much.
• My leaves are just starting to change and it depresses me.
• I spent the day mowing the lawn when I told the kids we would do something fun today. It never happened. We made chocolate chip cookies instead of going to the amusement park.
• It breaks my heart that they didn't complain.
• I miss my husband.
• No, I don't have PMS and this is only a small bit of what I am mad at.

Healing

So Sunday afternoon, I was digging through the bottles and tubes of medications I have in the closet when I came across this:




...my old Zithromax prescription from when I had my tubes tied last year and my belly button was looking like it was going to become infected. I remember going in for a special appointment two weeks before the scheduled 6 week post-op visit. The doctor wrote the script and looked at the three kids who were 5, 3, and 8 weeks at the time and said, "Disregard your other appointment unless a problem occurs. Get this filled and if you start oozing (I hate that word) start taking the doses." She was kind to not make me come in again and kinder for trusting me with making the decision of whether or not I needed the antibiotics. Anyway, the bellybutton healed on its own, and the medicine laid dormant for 18 months in the closet. I took the two pills on Sunday and one yesterday and one today. I can already tell I am healing. I didn't cough all night, only part of the night and I can feel myself coughing less today. Yeah!

2 Out Of 3

Middle was invited to a birthday party today. Miss was not. I guess this hasn't happened before. I guess the birthday partys she has been invited to in the past included Miss. Last year she had one or two from her preschool friends, but they must have fallen when Miss was in school.

It was a four hour party. That is a long party for four/five year olds. It was held outside at a campground where she went swimming, played in a tent and made a craft. Miss said she didn't care. She said it didn't bother her. Then we dropped Middle off and she turned to face her window and wouldn't look. She was bored while we waited for 4:00 to roll around. I am still trying to hack up my lungs so I was no fun. The baby took a nice long rest so she was no fun. When we picked Middle up the two of them fell back into the swing of things but it made me realize that usually Miss is the one with a social life and always leaving Middle. The table was turned today and despite what she says, it disturbed her immensely.

Lord help me to not tie this baby down when I need to do something. Help her realize the ground is where her feet belong. Help keep the wine bottle full to calm my nerves.


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Two Surprises In One Day

When it was nap time today, I laid down for a while in bed hoping to sleep a little. I am still hacking away and exhausted from it. I know I should go to the doctor, I just dread it. Anyway, Middle had just gotten up and I was lying there, trying to force my body out of bed when I heard her say "Oh hi! Hi!" And I thought I heard a voice answer her, then Miss was on the run and I got up to see a couple of horses in my yard.

(they really enjoyed my overgrown grass)

A couple of North 40 girls came visiting today and brought some goodies from their garden. How many people have their neighbors ride over on their horses nowadays? At least in New York? I would say not too many. Her expert medical advise to me? Go see a doctor. She also said I could try using the kids nebilizer and I am going to in the morning. It can't hurt.

Second surprise: A few scant moments after they left, my husband pulls in. Yes, the sun was still out. I don't know who was happier to see him, me or the kids. For completely different reasons of course. I was happy to hand the kids over and they were happy to have a healthy adult around that isn't tired and grumpy. A win win situation.

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Happy Anniversary

39 years and counting.

Answer : 18 Minutes

Question : If you rip your diaper off in your crib then pee onto all your bedding, including the blanket that is attached to you at all times, how long will you roll around in joy on the floor with it after it has been through the wash?