Last week my sister had a post about an incident her oldest son had school. As I read it I had a flashback of the one and only time I have ever gotten into a physical altercation with anyone. (Other than my sister, that is!) It was back when I was in 7
th grade, which alone is an absolutely horrible time for any kid, I think. I was doing something that seems to be extinct now, it was called 'Walking to the Bus Stop". No kids, the school buses didn't always stop at
each and every driveway! Anyway, I grew up living in an apartment complex, and this chick, Kim
Larusso, lived in the building across from me and she was also in the same grade as me. She was already at the bus stop this infamous day, along with about eight other people whose faces are a total blur now. I had never had any problems with Kim before this day, we weren't friends but at the same time we didn't hate each others guts either. At least, I didn't think we did. So, there she is, huddled up with three or four other middle
schoolers, and here I come, walking towards them. I see some grins from them, but I am still too far to actually hear anything yet. As I get closer, I know they are laughing at me. I quickly pat my frizzy pubescent hairstyle, lick my lips and feel my heart quicken. Now I am close enough to hear it is Kim doing the talking, the others doing the laughing which just gives her enough of a boost to continue. "Waddle, waddle, she walks like a
friggin' duck!" Snickers, all around. "Quack, waddle, my
gawd, just look at her!" Real laughing out loud now. Let me just say, I had been teased, picked on, chosen last in gym and not invited to many a birthday party in my life at this point and I don't know why these
snarky comments weren't just placed on the mental pile of 'Mean Deeds Done Unto Me', but I must have been
pms-
ing ,or cold, hungry - who knows. All I know is that, I was pissed. I was embarrassed. I was not taking it, anymore! "Why don't you come over here, and say that to my face!" Much to my horror, she starts strutting over. Now she is three inches from my face, we are at an equal height and I can see the clogged pores in her nose, her beady eyes were set on mine "You. Walk. Like. A.
Friggin'. Duck." SLAP!!!!!!!!! I don't remember my brain talking to my hand, telling it to swing at her, I just remember the sound. The sharp sound of my palm coming in contact with her cheek. I was just as shocked as she was. I didn't show it. I kept my cool, kept staring at her, even tilted my head a bit, in the gesture of "
Whatcha gonna do now, bitch". She backed off, going back to the circle of her posse, and I turned around to face the road, waiting for the bus. When it came, I was the first one on, and sat in the first empty seat I could find, which was pretty near the front because the back seats were where the action always was.
Unbeknownst to me, the story was getting told to those already on the bus, and retold to each and every new arrival. By the end of the day, it had spread all through the middle school, and even to the high school where my sister was. I guess I should have been proud for sticking up for myself,
finally, but I wasn't. I was scared
shitless. What was she going to do in retaliation? What was going to happen the next day at the bus - or even in the afternoon when we returned home? I was a mess. When I got off the bus that day, I hightailed it home super quick. I remember so vividly my mom sitting on the front stoop with a neighbor. I came up to them, not even caring this other lady was about to hear my tale of woe, and I frantically blurted out, "Mom, Kim was teasing me this morning, telling me I walked like a duck, and making fun of me in front of everyone, and I slapped her Mom, I did it. I know I should have just ignored her, but I hit her." My mom was looking up from the step she was sitting on, glanced over to
Kims building and said "OK, go inside now and calm down." WHAT?
Oooookay. That was not the reaction I was expecting, but I was no
dummie, I quickly went inside and laid down on my bed to sort things out in my head. No matter how I would try to make sense of this weird day, all I could see was my hand hitting her, her shocked eyes on mine and her retreat back to her 'friends'. About an hour later, my mom was back inside and I was still in my room when I heard the doorbell ring. I jumped up and looked out my window to see who was there, and it is none other then Kim
Larusso with her mother. FUCK!! Now I was gonna get it. Sure enough, my mom opens my door and tells me to go downstairs, Kim is waiting for me. I just stand there, and she pushes the door wide enough for me to get through and nods towards the stairs. "Go on, get it over with" is what she seemed to convey in that nod. I open the door to see Kim, crying. Her mom, standing next to her, is looking at me with a slight, nervous smile on her face. She nudges Kim. Kim then looks at me and I can see all the makeup is cried off her face and she says, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying those things about you." I quickly apologize also, and her mom says "This won't happen again
Rebecca." They leave. I close the door. ....the hell? That was
not what I was expecting.
I keep trying to remember if my parents punished me in some way for this. I honestly don't think I was. I remember my father, sitting in his beanbag that night, telling me it was wrong to hit her, but she was wrong also. I felt so light then. The weight of my action had been so heavy on me the entire day, hearing my composed father talk so rationally to me eased my guilty feelings and boosted my spirits. I slept that night. The next day I walked to the bus stop. Nothing was said to or about me. I went to school and that was that. Someone else was the subject of conversation, some other adolescent scandal was taking place and Kim and I went back to being indifferent to each other. I wonder if she remembers this day in our shared history. I wonder where she is now, if she has any children, what values she is instilling in them. I wonder if she ever thinks about me, the girl who walked like a duck....
