No Title Needed

**********(Insert own punchline here.)***********

1668 Boxes

Or, 139 cases.

Or, $4,920.

How ever you put it, this is a lot of Girl Scout Cookies. I spent more then half my day yesterday, in the artic temperatures, loading these onto my fathers truck, unloading them (with help from another G.S. mom) into piles. Then on my own again, seperating them into each girls' piles and waiting for the parents to come fetch them for delievery. I didn't mind the backbreaking work so much as the c-c-c-c-old air.

I have http://www.raynauds.org.uk/ / so I really have a hard time being outside at this time of year. It is so hard to explain to people that it isn't that I don't want to be outside, it is that it pains me to tears to be outside. I need a good hour usually to recover from an attack. Last night, I never did get warm. I had been inside at that point for 5 hours, but because I was outside for about 5 hours, the damage was great. I shivered even in bed with my human furnace sleeping next to me.

Anyway, the cookies are all organized, the girls are having a booth sale tomorrow and we need to get busy distributing the boxes. F-U-N!

Another Snow Day...

....Alternate title: How To Drive a Mom To Drink.

I am so stir crazy, I can't imagine how the pioneers survived. Maybe moonshine? There was no school, agian, today and I am really running out of things to interest everyone. Last week was school vacation and we were broke. We spent every day at home except for the afternoon we went browsing the mall. One day we made cookies. Two days I found easy crafts for them. One day I allowed them to play in the basement while I cleaned and the baby napped. I know I let them watch too much TV and they probably played Webkinz too much, but gimme a break. Today, so far, they have watched an episode of Pound Puppies (hellloo eighties!) and an episode of Full House. That isn't so bad, I guess.
I suited everyone up after lunch, and we ventured outside. The baby really hasn't gone out much, usually she sits in a sled while the girls take turns pulling her, but the sled is deeply burried in the snow somewhere. She loved walking around! I lost count how many times she fell after eleven. She walked the full length of the driveway, onto the road, and up the hill.


There she goes:


She was obsessed with climbing the mountain! I don't know where she thought she was going, but everytime I turned her around towards our driveway, she threw a fit! She would just turn around and start up the road, over and over.




Believe it or not, I do not own a pair of winter boots! Or snow gear, just a jacket and gloves. One hat. I had to throw last years boots out. I had them for a few seasons and they were cheapies to begin with. I definately got my money out of them. Then this fall, I was waiting for the womens boots to go on sale around Christmas time. They didn't. After Christmas, I searched, and Target had some boots but not on sale. Other places had slim pickin's, but no sale. I refuse to buy myself full price clothes/shoes. So, I don't have winter boots!

Here is my purrrrty bottom half after todays jaunt. My brown 'leather' boots, and my red, circa 1989 sweat pants, and you are fortunate not to see the rest of me!

More Of The Same

Today: Snow...heavy at times. High 34F. Winds ESE at 5 to 10 mph. Snow accumulating 3 to 5 inches.
Tonight: A mixture of winter precipitation this evening. Then snow mixing with rain at times overnight. Low 29F. Winds NE at 10 to 15 mph. Snow accumulating 1 to 3 inches.
Tomorrow: Snow showers early, with a steadier snow developing late in the day. High around 30F. Winds WNW at 10 to 20 mph. Chance of snow 70%. 1 to 3 inches of snow expected

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"I'm sick of freezin' my paws, mom."

Tired

I remember how I was feeling when this picture was taken. This was back in October, I think. I know school was back in session, but it wasn't the holiday season yet. I was tired. I had been tired for a long time before this day, it just happens this particular evening I told my husband "I'm going to go lay down. Do you mind doing the rest of the night rountine on your own?" It was probably only 7 pm or so. Too early for me to go to bed. I wasn't sick, or getting sick, I had the normal amount of sleep the night before, so basicly there was no reason to feel so beat. I had been blaming the tiredness on the 'baby', the baby who slept through the night 95% of the time. I would tell myself lots of excuses. The chaos of organizing the life of three children, the constant care young kids need, the neverending tasks of running a household and trying to get the business sucessful, I mean, the list was endless. None of these things were outside the realm of a normal family. We don't keep our house spotless, our standards are low as far as that goes. Many nights we go to bed with a pile of clean laundry not folded, and toys on the floor, among other tasks uncompleted. I wasn't trying to grasp some unattainable level of perfection. I was just tired for no reason. Looking back, I think I never regained a foothold on my life after discovering I was pregnant the last time. We weren't trying, and we were surprised to have another one on the way. I was sick more then the first two pregnancies. I was tired, but that always happens to me. Little things started to fall by the wayside, and those multiplied over the months to come. Then she was born, and a legitimate tired enveloped me. That passed after the first month or so, but a deep rooted fatigue was growing in me. The chores I had been putting off for after the baby was born still were waiting, plus numerous others that sprang up. I constantly thought of these things, but rarely thought of a plan of attack. Going downstairs and seeing the crap every where was depressing, opening my pantry doors and being met with the haphazard 'organization' in there, each and every closet was a disaster too. Was it depression? I don't know. I never have gone to a doctor to find out. I berrated myself every day for being lazy, and not doing the things that should be done.
One last thing that I haven't mentioned yet is, I am still feeling this awful defeated feeling. That is what it feels like. I have been defeated. My life feels like I am a step off of the dance rountine. I am getting up every day, doing what has to be done, but things are not as they should be. I'm chasing after my 'used to be' self. The self I want to be again. I have 30 pounds to loose. I don't care how many people tell me "Well you've had three kids, you should expect it to be much harder this time. You are older now, weight just doesn't come off as easy as it used to." I know those are true to an extent, but my 'baby' is 15 months old now. This is not baby weight. This is too many helpings of dinner weight, ice cream cones in the summer weight, finishing the kids leftover food weight and late night snacking weight. This, I know contributes to my tiredness. My depression? I don't know. Maybe. I have no reason to overeat. I am loved. I have great kids. I have a treadmill downstairs. I have the knowledge of how to loose weight. I have the want. I have the goal of our BIG VACATION coming up. What is wrong with me? Do I need a good slap?
No answers tonight, just questions. I want to be able to tell you, my friends and family reading, that I have overcome these obstacles, but I will not lie. I am in turmoil over these things and hate it. Seeing this picture, looking closely at myself brought all this to the surface. I don't want to pass this on to my girls. They saw me that night lying in bed, and couldn't pass up an opportunity to ambush a horizontal parent. I enjoyed their company but now, seeing the picture of us, and knowing how awful I felt, I feel tremendous guilt. I have read the studies of how mothers pass down their 'junk' let's call it, to their daughters, and I don't want them to have my junk. They will have plenty of their own junk without me adding mine to the mix. I want to be how I used to be. I want to be more energized, happier, not as grumpy, knowing where things are and finding them in their rightful place. And a fun parent again. My husband is getting the title of fun parent these days, and thank god for him and his eternal patience! He knows how I've been feeling and hates it for me.
So, sorry if I've depressed anyone here, but in the goal of keeping this real and accurate for future reference, I have to be honest about it. I hope to write a year from now about how awesome I am and how I overcame this. Let's hope!!

Photos Of The Day

Perhaps she was looking for an afternoon snack?



Peek-a-Boo!

This one just melts me a little. She was wearing Middle's boots. Look how playful her expression is.

The Middlest

I was going to title this post 'Being Four' to continue on with the 'Being One' theme, but you are not to be defined by your age. You might not be the one applauded for doing things for the first time, and you are not the one we look at with bittersweet emotions, knowing this is the last time we will experience such and such stage. No, you are the one floating some where in between your sisters, not blazing any new trails, and not closing any doors. You are the sister that is in the middle of it all. You try with all your might to keep up with your older influence, and at the same time you are proud to be an older sister to someone else, finally getting to be the boss, the leader and the teacher. You might be in the middle, but you are not lost in the shuffle. In fact, you are the one usually causing the shuffle! Things are louder, funnier and in technicolor because of you. You are the first to point out the burps and poots you have witnessed, whether on TV or in person. You love to see someone walking around with their underwear showing - nothing is funnier- and when Sponge Bob's crack is exposed, life is goooood.

You want your teeth to be loose, your reading to be more excelled and makeup on every day. You love your back scratched, belly tickles and ice cream. There is not an animal you don't love. Webkinz is your cause for existence. The fact you are a year too young for Sunday school doesn't faze you one bit. You boldly walked up to the Sunday school teacher and asked if you could participate. She could not say no. Actually, not many people say no to you. You have a ready smile that lights up your entire face, and an eagerness to learn. I don't know of anyone that walks away from you unhappy. Most likely, you cheered them up.

If only each and every article of clothing had princesses on them, and bonus if everthing was a dress. Pink and sparkles help, too.

You know, everything that is good comes in the middle. One example, Oreos!

Being One

One is not the lonliest number. When you are one, everybody loves you. You do no wrong. Things that a person just two years older then you would get punished for, you get praised for.
One toothy grin from a baldish one year old even makes grumpy people smile. Old people bend down to get a closer look into your shiny eyes, even though the aches in their back and knees protest. It is worth the pain. When you are one, even greedy sisters will share their Valentine candy with you. When you are one, you think the world revolves around you, and, it kinda does. Oh, the lengths people will go to for a one year old to stop crying. The funny faces, noises, songs and dances a normally sane person will perform to have a one year old laugh. Those belly laughs are all the payment expected.

On the other hand, it is hard to be one. No one understands your babble. And the rules! The silly, silly rules! I mean, what is wrong with trying to somersault down the basement stairs? And, why is it you're not allowed to eat the house plants? Really!! These large looming figures are just so uptight sometimes!!

Some days, we all gotta just relax. Taking a poo break in a nook in your sisters room while sitting on their favorite Dora stepstool is just what the doctor ordered. Add the toothbursh to the mix, and life is fiiiine. Nothing beats sucking on a toothbrush while stinkin' up your sisters room.




The amazing 'field trips' these older folks take are truely jaw dropping. Birds? In a glass box? Just waiting for me to squeal at? Just sitting there for me to bang the glass? Fabulous!!

They make it so easy to climb on, yet prohibit the actual climbing! Dummies.

Best of all, the sisters are always leaving these tasty 'pencils' laying around. Yummy! The best idea is to grab one, run away with it to a quiet part of the house, find a seat and start on the eraser end. MMMM, MMMM!!

Yes, it is both fun and frustrating being one.

Hannah 'MAN'tana

Scaaaary Montana....





Baby Montana...

Doggy Montana

Proud owner of a Hannah Montana wig....

Crack, For Girls

So, Miss Mouse received $20 yesterday in the mail for her birthday and you know what that means:




I really think they could spend two hours in this place. She ended up getting a HSM stationary set that was about 90% overpriced, but she loves it, and it was her money.

I don't usually 'shop' in the mall with the kids, too much of a hassle. If and when I go clothes shopping it is by myself. Our usual game plan is playing in the kiddie spot, lunch, browse the petshop and Claire's, then pick something out at the dollar store. No one gets upset because this is what we do each time. Today we went just to kill time, and also Miss had a hole burned in her pocket from that 20, so we stopped in Limited Too to look at Webkinz. While they did that I went to the clearance racks and struck some gold!! I bought these for Miss Mouse to wear this spring and I know you won't believe the price so I took a picture of the receipt.

LOOK! The dark denim long shorts were $2.49 and the tan capri pants were $3.49. I couldn't pass them up. Not even Wal Mart would have been cheaper.

Because of my tooth problem$, and also because our tax return is late, and we were depending on it, there is not much green in the Mouse household lately. Today we packed a lunch and ate it at the mall (go ahead, call me cheap) and it worked out marvelously. I packed our snacks and that was also great. We didn't even find anything worthwhile at the dollar store, so this purchase is justified in my mind! Whatever gas I used was the most expensive part of the vacation week so far.

Miss gets a coupon for a free pizza at Pizza Hut through school, and we have about five free ice cream cone coupons to Friendly's so that is what I might do tomorrow night with just the two older girls. They feel special going out at night for some reason! My front tire looked awful low to me when we got home so I might not be going any where! Does anyone have cheap and kid friendly ideas for long school breaks? I am getting bored with our usual haunts and the weather isn't good for any outside activities.

Fish, Fish, Bo Bish

This here is 'Spotty':



And this here is 'Barney':



The following is the actual conversation that transpired as I cleaned and changed the fish water this morning.

Miss: Spotty is still a baby, he isn't so big yet.
Middle: Barney is soooo big, he is much more bigger than Spotty.
Miss: That's because Spotty is still a baby!
*********11 second pause*********************************
Miss:I wonder if fish have brains.
Middle: MISS MOUSE!! Of course they do, they do have brains!
Miss: I don't think they have tongues though.
Middle: Yeah, no tongues, they have teeth because they will bite my finger if I put my finger in the bowl, but I won't put my finger in the bowl 'cause I don't want my finger bited.
Miss: Mom, remember that time you spilled Goldie (fish that is no longer with us. amen.) into the sink and he went splat and you quick scooped him up and put him in the bowl?
Me: Yes, I remember. (I remember because every blasted time I change the water we reminece about the time dear departed Goldie splatted in the sink.)
Miss: I wonder what Goldie thought when that happened.
Middle: He was thinkin' "AAAAAAAAAAAA, Help me! Mommy dropped me AAAAAAAA I'm gonna die!!!!!


I guess this means fish have brains. Meanwhile, I think my brain has vanished.

Eager For Spring

After my ordeal last night, I'm more eager for spring and summer than ever. I was driving home at around 7 pm in the rain after a day of painting my grandmothers bathroom. I turned on my road, which is one straight shot upwards, a mountain, and I got stuck. The road was a sheet of ice and my wheels had no traction. I backed down, while Middle Mouse fretted and whimpered, while Baby Mouse blabbered, and while Miss Mouse slept. I pulled into the long driveway of my neighbor hoping I wouldn't get stuck in the middle of it, blocking them in. I made it to their door, and the four of us invaded their blissfully quiet Sunday night. All you parents know the feeling of bringing your kids to a home that has none, right? Well, I had those feelings on top of the guilt of showing up with no warning. Thankfully my friendly neighbors were happy to see us, welcomed us in, let the kids use the potty, use the massage chair and pet their precious Jack Russell to no end. The baby went inside out at seeing such a tiny dog that was real! We have toys the size of Cassie and she was amazed at how wiggly this 'toy' was! We hung out for quite a while, watched the sand truck go up and I ventured out again, keeping my fingers crossed that we would make it home. I almost did. I got to within 50 feet of my driveway and the car wouldn't budge. Not even when Mr. Mouse pushed it. So, in the pouring rain, we dragged the kids inside. It was now 9pm. Hubby put a bunch of salt around my tires, and finally got the car in our driveway. Whew!!!

I will be soooooo happy to see the grass again. (Remind me of this when I start complaining of the blackflies.) We will be able to go swimming, and lounge around the water all day.

We will be able to go strawberry picking and eat fresh local fruit again!

My favoritest tree in our yard will be beckoning us to climb it again.

My flowers will be blooming and I will have bouquets from the kids. Bouquets of dandelions and grass, and mini pine trees, but still, there will be fresh greenery in the house.

Heck, we might even spot Elvis again this year!!

But best of all, no shoes!! Barefeet for all!! The nailpolish will be flowing, and our shoes will be flippin' and floppin'.

Yes, I am eager for spring.

Reading

We are a house full of readers. Magazines, books on CD, hardcovers, softcovers and reading on the computer, someone is always reading around here. Looks like Baby Mouse has followed our footsteps. Middle is always around when we are practicing Miss Mouses' spelling words, and will repeat right along with her, so I won't be surprised if she starts reading early. She already will 'read' a book in her own words and the story tends to be much more interesting when she reads it. A lot of burps in the story, and someone is bound to have his booty hanging out.

Catch Up

Well, two nights ago I broke a tooth! My first thought was, "My transition to white trash is complete." Then I thought, I better start finding a dentist. The kids have a great pediatric dentist, but since we don't have dental insurance, we have never found one. Kids take priority, of course. Well, now I need one and I'm a gonna pay. Holy Moly, I will need to take out a second mortgage!! Oh well, it is now to the point that I can barely open my mouth, so when I talk I resemble Popeye, and it isn't fun to eat either. Perhaps I might loose a few? (hoping, hoping) There is a raw spot on my tongue from the sharp edge of the tooth and that is really what is bothering me. I am going to buy some orthodontal wax today and see if it brings me any relief.
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Winter break has started, also known as 'watch my routine and the little bit of organizational skills I have go out the window' week. We aren't planning anything, although I am going to paint my grandmothers bathroom for her birthday. I should have already done it, but my sister will be here for a few days and will help too. She is impossible to buy for, and does need new paint, so, voila! Problem solved, this year anyway. I will be sure to take before/after pics and post them next week.

OK kids, remember to brush your teeth, and take a bite for me!

Love

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

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This year for Lent, we didn't 'give up' anything. In the past I have given up everything from candy to red meat. I succeeded on the candy (shocking!) but failed short with two weeks to go on the red meat. I have blamed that failure and always will, on the surprise pregnancy of Baby Mouse though. My body needed some cow. I was even dreaming of cheeseburgers and when I told my husband that he was all, "Go to Burger King already!" So I did. Yum. No, this year, Lent crept up on me and I really hadn't thought too much about what to sacrifice, something that would really be a sacrifice. I mean, I could easily have given up using the treadmill, but my guilt would be too strong. I believe in sacrifice. We all do it. We all rarely enjoy it. When you become an adult you sacrifice sleeping late or mooching off your parents. When you get married you sacrifice going out with friends or idle spending. When you become a parent you sacrifice sleep and sane thoughts. But I feel like there is a lot to benefit from giving up either a special food or treat, and everytime you would normally do that thing, or eat that particular food you spend a few moments remembering all that was sacrificed for your own welfare. Not only by Christ, but by your parents, husband or friend. It is a good thing to recognize the good deeds done to you by others, especially when we might only see the selfish or cruel side of the world. By stopping yourself each day, and changing your normal diet or routine, it makes you appreciative, I think.

Appreciative for the bounty in your pantry, the dollars (no matter how few) in your bank and the health in your home. This year Mr Mouse and I didn't 'give up' anything, we added something. We have taken 15 minutes at night, every night, after the kids have settled into bed and we talk. Face to face. About anything on our minds, or something we saw or heard during the day. There is no radio, TV or computer between us during our 15 minutes. Just us. How simple, you say? Well, I suppose, but I am honest and ashamed to admit how rare we do this. We of course converse everyday, on the phone while he is at work, and over the din in the evenings but I can't recall when we would just be alone and share without one distraction or another. There was always some music playing or the TV in the backround. We are only just barely into Lent, but I really feel like we will succeed in doing this every day. I hope it continues after Easter. I realize that this isn't a normal way to recognize the Lenten season, but I feel like we are taking those moments every day and connecting and realizing what we have in each other, so what could be wrong with that? Remembering how to just sit and talk without trying to cram everything in before a little one interupts our train of thought. Realizing that we have been sacrificing our relationship bit by bit, year by year, child by child, in order to grab a few extra minutes of sleep, or watch one more idiotic episode of something, and we are now reclaiming it. Marriage is a sacrifice, so is parenthood, but we need to embrace the sacrifice. We need to deal with the fact that we will never have enough hours in our day, or money in our pocket, but we do have each other to laugh with and, of course, go hand in hand to Burger King.

Self Portrait

Picture of a Princess

Miss Mouse got a sleeping blindfold on her birthday and has used it every night since. It would annoy the hell out of me, but every night, she places all her webkinz and the bear and elephant she sleeps with on her right side. She folds down all the sheetes and blankets, and chooses one to cover herself with. She arranges the canapy around herself, just so. Lastly, she places her goggles over her eyes and falls asleep.

I've been folding laundry as I watch American Idol tonight and during a commercial brought some clothes in her room. I just had to take the picture! She will stay like this allllll night.

An Apple A Day

I am hoping that I won't have to take Middle to the doctor tomorrow, but if she is not any better, I guess it will have to happen. Her eyelids are pink and puffy from the congestion and she is coughing continuously, poor girl. The baby is coughing a lot also, but mostly it is just her nose that I can't control. The past two days I have been the human tissue: Coughed at, sneezed on and noses have been wiped on my knees, chest, back and arms.





Tuesdays are my typically crazy long days. First I bring Miss to school, take Middle to school, shop if needed, pick Middle up, wait a bit at my moms, pick Miss up again and either come home or wait for Brownies. Today I wrote a note for the teacher to put Miss on the bus because Middle didn't go to school and I dreaded going outside again in 8 degree weather with the sick mice. So, I am enjoying a day playing catch up at home. In between sneezes, that is.

As Promised

Here is the next installment of the artwork around here. Or what I like to call "Mr. Mouse's Monthly". HAHAHAHA!! OOOOoooo... alrighty then. I only wish he had a monthly.
This first picture is one of the itty bits of real estate he has claimed for his glass/paints. They are the long stick looking thingies on the right. (What? That's technical terminology right there.)
Isn't he a stickler for neatness? Oh, that will be a different post at a different time. I don't have the energy today.

This piece of glass, as you can see, has two snakeheads, a heart, an eye in the middle and some fancy stuff all around. It all means something, dontcha know. Like the duality of.... well it all means something. When I ask I go away more confused, but certain people know about it all, and I am not one of those people. But it is a great example of how talented Mr. Mouse is. Sorry about the glare line.

First, he places a piece of 'resist' which is like very sticky contact paper that he orders 'specially for his glass work. Then using pencil he makes his design on that paper. This step can take days, and did for a large piece like this. Then he carves out the opposite of the design, so in the end, the right side is what is apparant. This is hard to imagine, I know. It is hard for me to explain, you know. After that step, he brings it downstairs and sandblasts the exposed glass, removes the resist, and airbrushes. Sometimes he has just leaves the piece without color, but not usually.

In the this shot there is part of another large piece he has done, I might show that one next time. I will be sure to get the full explaination first though. No matter how confusing. P.S. He also made and painted the frame.

Sit On It

(Please, someone, I don't understand why my pictures preview in the correct form, but somehow shift sideways after I upload to Blogger.)

Anyway, excercise your neck and you will see that the baby will not sit on furniture. She stood at the kids table the entire time I was cleaning up the kitchen this morning playing her sisters electronic drum machine and dancing, and I let her. (Side note: I would never had let Miss Mouse do this. Aaahh, the difference seven years makes. If they are content=quiet=mommy completes tasks.) Then, I had to leave the room so I folded the chair down so she wouldn't be able to do it while I wasn't around to supervise.



As you can see, she is a clever little mouse. She found Middle Mouses' Dora step stool and put it to good use. She spent another solid 20 minutes like this, singing and clapping to her tunes.

Then I went about my business, and she did as well. To the living room. To the couch. I think Middle helped. No sitting on her tushie today, she is determinded to fall on her head, I think.

And, yes, she has a nasy cold again and her poor nose is a mess. So are her crib sheets, so I'm off to change those.

This Should Be My Blog Name

Doesn't this sign make you wonder? Make you wonder why these particular mice are FANCY? It makes me wonder. In my minds eye, I see mice circa the 1800's, the male mice wearing tophats and using walking canes. The female mice hold parasols and fan themselves with those hand held oriental fans. They all lift their pinkies while drinking tea. Of course they use British accents, because everything sounds fancy in a British accent. They use hankies.

In reality, mice are not and never were like this. These insane petshop people need to get a clue!! Mice shit on counters, and run around living rooms to make people scream and jump on furniture. They squeak and cause nightmares. I am an expert on mouse life, and there is no fanciness related to them. Now, if the sign said "Gross rodent with creepy eyes and nasty habits $2.99", they would have been spot on.

You've Come A Long Way, Baby

These first two pictures are of Miss Mouse at about two hours old, the first time we really got to see her. (see post before this)



Here she is with the NICU nurse.



Here she is last night, at the mall, in the Disney store sitting at the princess throne. We were there to see the Hannah Montana movie and browse the stores. SO many webkinz, so little money. Little does she know, she will be getting two for her birthday tonight!

7 YEARS AGO

On Febuary 9th, seven years ago I became a mother for the first time. All the moms out there know those first feelings, the pure joy, completeness and the nervousness of those first few days/weeks/months/years! Does it ever end?

When dawn breaks on the morning of one of your childrens' birthdays, you are full of memories, reflection and also dreams of the future of that child. Every hour when I glance at the clock, I think, "Four years ago at this very time I was...." I relive the birth day experience through my vivid memories. Through pictures. I remember it all. The smells of the hospital room, the lights and sounds of the nurses and machines. I remember how my husband bounced his leg for hours on end proving to me how nervous he really was while telling me he was fine, just fine. For the birth of my firstborn, time stretched and stood still while we waited and waited. The pregnancy itself was an eternity. All I did those endless months was read books, magazines and websites about childbearing and infantcy expectations. I would roam the aisles of stores dreaming of dressing my baby girl in pink fluff and frills. We knew we were having a girl and planned accordingly. I never found out for the next two if they were a boy or girl, but this first time, I knew.

I was 35 weeks and put on bed rest for increased blood pressure. I went back in a week and was admitted and induced. I was actually happy. I was going to meet my girl early! Yippee! Oh how foolish I was. I was living in Arkansas at the time, and the hospital was in Little Rock, the "big city" of the area. The nurses were uncaring and busy. I was nervous and getting sicker and sicker. Hours and hours went by and my husband had to go home to let our poor dogs out and feed them. He came back and by then I was so juiced up on magnesium to bring down by blood pressure, and so fatigued from lack of sleep and food that I was in a daze. I started getting sick, then throwing up blood (sorry, I'm just keeping it real) and the room was fuzzy and I couldn't get my eyes to focus and I just kept watching my husbands face to read through him what was going on. THIRTY SIX hours later I began to push, but honestly, I was so limp and weak I doubt I was doing anything. The doctor told me she was going to use the vacuum extractor, and I didn't care, just help me dammit, I need help! I was giving up, collaspsing mid push, hubby and a student nurse held my legs, I was sweating, puking and then I noticed the room got full. There was a team of nurses in gloves and face masks, my husband almost fainted, another nurse helped him for a few minutes, then he resumed his position on my right side, grabbing my swollen leg and encouraging me. Finally, I felt a release, I could breath again people started scurrying around the baby and took her away. They turned briefly and let me feel her and see her, then she was gone. The room got quiet instantly. There was no baby crying, or any information on where she was, how she was. My husband left to go search for where they took her, but returned empty. The wing was a maze, and he couldn't find our nurses to ask anything. I was defeated. I never felt so empty. Not only was my body empty after eight months of having a roommate, but my arms were empty. No baby to cuddle, no baby to smell and nurse. Two long hours later a spindly looking doctor came in and let us know she would be fine, she had the cord around her neck duing delievery, she was born 'sunnyside up' instead of face down, and she was blue. All the magnesium and other medicines I had been subjected to the past two days, were passed on to her and she felt just as crappy as I did. I was wheeled down to the NICU to see her, and compared to those other teeny tiny creatures, my barely six pounder looked huge. She was filled with tubes and oxygen and under lights, but the saintly nurse there let me hold her, get a picture with her and kiss her and whisper to her and fall in love completely and wholeheartedly. I asked if daddy could hold her and she said "just for a minute" and then my husband was blessed with holding his little one in his big, calloused, gentle hands and I cried and cried.

I didn't fully understand how strong my emotions would be. I was a mess for a good month. I was way over protective. I couldn't get enough of this perfect little bundle. I would just lay with her and stare while she slept, hold her all night and drink in the intoxicating perfume only newborns have. To have something fit so perfectly, to mold to my body and cling to me just as much as I clinged to her was astounding! I knew I was meant for something. That she was my future, what I had always needed, but never knew. We have worked together these past seven years. Her blazing a path for her younger sisters. And I, well I am sometimes tiptoeing and sometimes plowing through days of this crazy life of parenting. We are learning together. She is teaching me as much as I am her. She still snuggles and molds her lanky body to mine, and I sniff her head to vainly search for that newborn scent that has long passed. I hold her and know this won't last, soon it won't be fun or comforting to sit with mom and share a book or a quiet spell. I savor these moments too, in a different way. Just as I remember those first, fragile seconds of her life, I know how scary and exciting my life is about to be.

Is It Bedtime Yet?

These cupcakes look so weird in the picture. Funny. Oh well, these are the cupcakes for tomorrow. What else did I do today while trapped with all three kids in yucky weather?



Here is what we did to fill the 89 hours of the day today:

Webkinz
Made and deocorated birthday cupcakes
Color Wonder
Watched Mulan
Used the treadmill (now you know I was desperate)
Webkinz
Laundry, of course
Start giving baths at 4:30 so the grumpy baby could be bearable until dinner
Watch husband snowblow, send him positive and happy brainwaves from inside warm house
Eat dinner at 5:15
Escape and take my own relaxing bath
Post two times on blog
Look at clock 368 times

Hair Update, and Dog Too

I have a pretty lengthy post upcoming about Miss Mouse and her birth day. (two words, yes) Right now we are working through her nasty, nasty, cold/cough/fever. She is much better today, and will be able to attend school tomorrow with the yummy cupcakes I made today for her class to celebrate her birthday.

I have some hairstyle updates. If you go to bed like this:



You will wake up with glorious hair, hair to run your fingers through, hair to shake from side to side and pretend you are a "Supter Model".

Or, on a different day, when you ask your mom to put your hair "Up in like a bow, with a twist and side to side and perfect shaped style-ish", and she says "Hmmm, I can't do that, but I know how to make a mean ponytail!" and you think your hair will have a bad attitude all day and shoot off meaness to everyone so you get excited and ask for "Yes!! Mean ponytails!" Then you show your mean face, to match your hair.

Unrelated to hair, sickness or birthdays, the snow is now piled so high out my dining room window (about four and half feet high), the dog can stand on said pile and look directly in on us while we eat.

Here is a picture of T'wyla looking in the window from the outside, and me on the inside in my pj's and comfy slippers taking her picture.

Cat

Mystery of the Universe

Why?

Only in a house with girls can you find a heap of naked dolls in the hallway for no reason.

Maybe Barbie declared spring break. Dolls Gone Wild!

Love

I've been noticing lately the dog always wants to go outside about 20-30 minutes before the bus arrives. She likes to pretend to chase the bus and barks at it and stands on the first step while Miss Mouse climbs down. It is annoying. The bus driver never says anything, but it's annoying to him, I know. I'm psychic that way. Anyway, she just looooves to be outside when Miss Mouse is on the way. I keep her inside to whine/bark loudly while running from Miss Mouses' bed to the dining room window. Back and forth, back and forth. At least she gets some excercise. Isn't it funny how dogs can tell time, she also wants to go out when my husband is almost home. Yesterday, I let her out about 20 minutes before the bus, and here she is staring at the road:



"Is this it? Is this it? Is this it? Is this it? Is this it? Is this it? Is this it? Is this it? Is this it?"

False alarm.

"I'm going to sit very still, and maybe that loud woman will forget I'm out here."

"La la la, do do, la la."
"What? Who me? I'm not doing anything? No, I'm just enjoying the scenery."

So, do you think she loves the child so much she neeeeeeds to be out there, or the bus?

House of Dots

I am seeing spots,

Little legs, polka dots!

Run spot, run!

Polka dot toes,

Runny little nose,

Come spot, come!

Sisters wearing dots,

Amusing little tots,

Stay spot, stay!

I'm Alive

You might be thinking "Uh, duh, yes you're alive, why would I think you weren't?" Well, let me tell you a little secret. Someone down the road from me almost killed me and 2/3 of my offspring this morning. I was on the return trip home from bringing Miss Mouse to school and I was behind an oil deleivery truck. I was about 4 or 5 car lengths back because it was spinning up sand from the road, and I didn't like hearing it hit my car. So we are on a straight stretch going, oh, probably 40-45 miles an hour and a driveway on the right hand side was approaching. I noticed a white truck driving down the driveway, about to turn out, but he stopped and let the fuel truck pass, then TURNED HIS HEAD TO WATCH IT DRIVE BY, AND PULLED ONTO THE ROAD AT THE SAME TIME!!! He NEVER even looked or assumed someone would be behind the truck, I am guessing, and that fucker just took off at a good clip. I laid on the horn, there was not enough time to bring myself to a full stop, and I veered the car into the opposite lane and kept laying on the horn and he DIDN'T STOP!!! I was convinced I was about to get plowed, and actually winced and gripped the steering wheel so hard I have a slight burn on the groove between my thumb and forefinger. Did he have the music blaring? Was he deaf? I don't know, but he should have heard my horn, should have seen my car, I even had my lights on. I know now why people chase other drivers down and verbally or physically attack, because that is what I felt like doing. He would have hit the passenger side, the side where the baby sits. He is right now going about his day, never knowing how close he came to either killing or badly hurting my child. I really don't know how we avoided colliding. God was definately with us this morning. I was so shaky after, I had such an adreneline rush my arms could barely hold the steering wheel. Middle Mouse said "Why did you do that!" I could only say, "He almost hit us, that man almost hit us!" Not a great way to start the week people, not at all. This part of Madeline has been in my head ever since:

"Good night, little girls!
Thank the lord you are well!
And now go to sleep!"
said Miss Clavel.

Ice, Ice Baby

Scenes from our winter storm two days ago.

I'm A Guitar Zero

But I don't care. My nephews got Guitar Hero this Christmas and brought it up with them when they visited. Oh. My. Goodness. I never knew I had a thirteen year old boy living inside me. He finally made himself known when I picked up that dang plastic guitar and started to play. At first I was so bad the game kicked me off!! Rude! Of course my nephews loved that, "Ha,Aunt Rebecca, you suck! Gimmie it back!" I would not give up. When it came around to being my turn again I picked a classic: Sedated, by the Ramones. I turned the volume to the TV up and got my self situated. I didn't just push the buttons to match the screen, oh no, not my style. I was groovin' and singing right along.

Twenty, twenty,twenty four hours ago,
I wanta be sedated,
Nothing to do, no where to go,
I want to be sedated,

I could feel the eyes of my nephews staring at me,their heads slightly shaking. I could read their minds, "Yep, she has finally lost it." I didn't care. These songs were way before their time, the lyrics aren't heard on this game, just the music. I knew the lyrics and they were astounded. What I lacked in accuracy/points, I made up for in showmanship. I bopped my head and sang loud and made my low score a insignificant number. I had fun. Too much fun. Now I want this gadget for myself! I could have parties!! All my friends could come over! We can have popcorn! Oh, wait. Yeah, I forgot. I'm not 12, I live in the boonies, and my mom isn't available for chaperoning. Oh well.




Above, my nephew berating my moms skills!

My mom, trying, really trying.

Shout Out To My Sister!

Yay, my sister started a blog too!! Check it out- the contrast will be great seeing how she has all boys. She can't turn a corner without some testosterone slapping her in the face. Her boys are big, football playing, go-cart racing, wild men that have unlimited patience with their little girl cousins. My girls love them. It will be great to have my nephews come visit in about, oh say, 12 years and put the fear of god into the would be suitors of my kids! Ha! Anyway, maybe later tonight or tomorrow I will post the picture of how my darling nephews turned me into a Guitar Hero FREAK!! I want it for my birthday now, forget diamonds baby, I want Guitar Hero, all the way.

EDIT TO ADD LINK: (duh)

http://www.typatch.blogspot.com/

Just Hanging Out

All the kids were home today, and it is not so nice outside, so we are trapped together. They have watched tv, eaten two meals so far and gotten on each others nerves uncountable times. When will Daddy be home? Not soon enough. Do they need a third meal, I mean they were already given two? Whenever the homeschooling bug bites me, I need to remember these sort of days.


I put Miss Mouse up in rollers:



While they were in I've heard the following at least once:

"Watch out for my head!"
"Imagine if when you take them out, the whole clump of hair on the roller came out too, and I had a big bald patch?
"Imagine if when you take them out it turns into a mohawk instead of curls?"
"I need to go look at myself."
"Middle Mouse! You bumped into my head!"

She has not been able to get enough of herself. No lack of self esteem in this kid!

We also went YouTubing. Ya know, when you just go from one clip to another to kill time. The kids love Crazy Frog, but the videos of other kids are always good too.

Click this link to see the best we found today. Warning, it is creepy!

http:/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkqqMPPg2VI/www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkqqMPPg2VI